There is an old Irish saying Leig an donaschundeiridh, a n-duil s’ nach d-tiocaidh se choidche – Leave the bad luck to the last, in the hope that it may never come. We often say it jokingly but boy does it a pack a punch when thought of in terms of some ancient cognitive behavioural therapy.
This proverb yields pure optimism from the Irish psyche but also a way to deal with the negative. We Irish often forget, owing to our history, that we are essentially a positive people. People of all nationalities make that same mistake. Too often in life we as humans simply prioritise the negative, the squeaky gate is top of the to do list instead of going for a scenic walk. It’s as if we are programmed to attend to the bad stuff first – but if we left it to last it might not even arise as ‘mind noise’, as we fill the order of the day with positive stuff.
Part of it is how we are emotionally programmed – we dwell on the break up and sense of loss rather than the newfound freedom and the potential of a new/next relationship. That’s a shocking statement to some but it is not diminishing the love you had, it is acknowledging that the relationship is over and acknowledging that you deserve love again, in time when you are ready.
You lose your job, don’t dwell on being unemployed forever – get motivated now to find the ideal job or start your own business where you will get paid for your passion. The latest kitchen experiment was an epic fail, does that mean you can never cook again. Put the negative to the end of the list and get on with the good stuff in life.
Starting off positive, ranking it first, may occupy the space long enough to not notice the negative or more important not be weighed now by constant negativity.
Here are two easy ways to put the positive up front;
Exercise; count your hatched chickens.
It’s ok today to count your hatched chickens to recount the good times, see the joy and fortune in your life. This notion of not counting your chickens before they are hatched is wise enough – spares you disappointment – but you don’t have to be overly cautious with the ones already hatched – they are the success story chirping – maybe even laying more golden eggs.
Exercise; morning countdown – your top hits.
Think of the top five great achievements of your life, it may be climbing a tree when you were 10, it doesn’t have to be climbing the corporate ladder. Whatever makes you proud. Write them down from 5 to 1. Every now and then you can pull out this list before breakfast and give yourself a count down on the high points of your life. It reminds you of the successes, of the good luck. You can update the countdown as often as you like.